For as long as I can remember, I’ve been searching for patterns—shortcuts to clarity, formulas that simplify life’s complexities. One day, after a long walk and a long list of thoughts, I landed on this:
Happiness = Freedom + (Relationships || Play || Help)
At first glance, it looks simple. But like all good formulas, it holds depth.
Let me walk you through what it means to me—and why it’s become a compass I return to again and again.
The Backstory: Something Was Missing
Originally, I hadn’t even considered freedom as part of the equation. I spent a lot of time exploring what made me happy—was it connection with others? Was it joy and spontaneity? Was it the sense of meaning I got from helping people? I experimented with all three: relationships, play, and service.
And yet, something always felt incomplete.
Some days, even surrounded by people I loved, I felt stuck. Other times, even when I was doing something fun or meaningful, there was an underlying tension. Eventually, I realized that what was missing wasn’t external—it was internal. It was freedom. The freedom to choose, to breathe, to be.
I vividly remember the moment the idea began to take shape. I was at an amusement park—surrounded by bright lights, laughter, and entertainment—but I felt profoundly sad. I couldn’t shake the thought: How can I be so unhappy in a place designed to spark joy? That moment triggered a wave of reflection.
This reflection came during a time in my life when I wasn’t feeling particularly happy. I was actively experimenting with ideas and habits to improve my well-being, looking for what truly made a difference. Once I added freedom to the formula, everything made more sense.
Freedom as the Foundation
I believe happiness begins with freedom. Without it, everything else feels constrained.
Freedom can take many forms:
- Freedom from fear, expectations, or limitations.
- Freedom to create, rest, express, and explore.
It’s not about being irresponsible. It’s about having autonomy over your time, your thoughts, and your choices. For me, this is the foundation of a meaningful life.
The Three Paths: Relationships, Play, or Help
After freedom, the second part of the formula offers three interchangeable—but equally powerful—paths to fulfillment:
1. Relationships
Some days, happiness looks like a deep conversation with someone who just gets you.
Aristotle called friendship one of the highest goods.
Modern psychology confirms it: real connection—love, friendship, community—is essential to our well-being.
2. Play
Other days, happiness comes from play: laughing, dancing, reading, hiking, getting into flow.
Play reminds me to be present. To be spontaneous. To be free from expectations.
It’s not just for children—it’s for the inner child that still lives in all of us.
Play also introduces what researchers call psychological richness. It’s through play that we often experience novelty, surprise, and perspective shifts—elements that bring depth and variety to life. Whether it’s trying something new, exploring a different idea, or immersing ourselves in creative flow, play expands our inner world. In this sense, my formula isn’t just about feeling good—it also invites us to live richly and curiously.
3. Help
And then there are the days when happiness shows up through purpose—when I’m able to help someone, even in a small way.
Helping reminds me I’m not alone. It makes life feel bigger than me.
As Viktor Frankl said, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear almost any ‘how.’”
Why “||”?
In programming, || means “or.” In this formula, it represents flexibility.
I don’t always need all three. Sometimes just one is enough to bring joy into my day.
One day it’s a walk with a friend. Another day it’s an hour of reading. And other times, it’s simply offering someone a kind word or support.
This “OR” gives me grace. It means I don’t have to chase every avenue of happiness all the time. I just need one.
Two Lenses: The Daily and the Lifelong
Over time, I’ve come to realize that this formula can be viewed through two powerful lenses—each offering a different kind of insight.
The original version:
Happiness = Freedom + (Relationships || Play || Help)
is what I turn to when I need a short-term boost. It’s a gentle reminder that if I’m feeling low or disconnected, I can do just one thing—reach out to a friend, play, or help someone—and it can shift my emotional state. It’s like a daily compass I can check in with.
Then there’s the more refined version:
Happiness = Freedom × (Relationships + Play + Help)
This one speaks to the long game. It reflects the idea that lasting well-being comes from integrating all three elements into a life built on freedom. When they all work together over time, happiness deepens. It’s not just about feeling good—it’s about building a good life.
Both versions have helped me in different ways. One meets me where I am, and the other helps me move toward where I want to be.
Final Thoughts
Life can feel overwhelming. But when I get lost in the noise, I return to this formula.
Happiness = Freedom + (Relationships || Play || Help)
It reminds me to ask:
Am I feeling free?
Am I connecting, playing, or serving in some way?
If the answer is no—then maybe I just need to return to the basics.
This formula doesn’t promise constant joy. But it does help me return to center.
Arabela Navarro 