I always say that if we don’t include health problems, you realize that most problems in life are communication problems. Over time, I’ve realized that many of the biggest challenges — whether in work, friendship, or love — aren’t really about differences in values, goals, or personalities. They are about communication.
We like to think that communication is about transmitting a message. You say something, and the other person hears it and understands it exactly as you meant it. But real communication is interpretation, not transmission. Every person who listens to you filters your words through their own background, experiences, fears, and hopes. Even the clearest words can be misunderstood if the listener’s frame of reference is different.
In a world more focused on talking than listening, true communication becomes even harder. Many conversations today feel like parallel monologues rather than genuine dialogues. Everyone wants to be heard, but few pause to listen deeply. And when listening disappears, misunderstanding rushes in to take its place.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve thought that someone misunderstood me, or that I misunderstood someone else. It’s a common experience that reminds me how fragile communication can be. Even when intentions are good, the words we choose and the way they are received can create unexpected distance. Each of these moments has taught me that communication is not just about expressing ourselves, but about making sure we are truly understood.
One day, I had one of the most interesting conversations with a coworker. We talked about coding, languages, photography, psychology, philosophy, and music. Through that conversation, I saw clearly that everything is communication. Whether we are writing code, composing a song, capturing a photograph, or sharing an idea, at the core, we are trying to express something and connect with others. It made me realize that many of my interests are deeply connected to communication. Each of these passions, in its own way, is about understanding others, expressing ourselves, and creating meaning between people.
In a world that moves so fast, people hardly take the time to truly listen. Conversations are often rushed, distracted, or superficial. Deep listening — the kind that makes others feel seen and understood — has become rare, yet it is more necessary than ever. Slowing down to listen with care can transform not just conversations, but relationships and communities.
A big part of the problem is assumptions. We assume people know what we mean. We assume they share our definitions, our priorities, our sensitivities. But real connection requires curiosity, not assumptions. Asking, “How did you understand that?” or “What did you hear me say?” can prevent small misunderstandings from growing into bigger conflicts.
Another common trap is listening to respond rather than listening to understand. Many of us, when hearing someone else speak, are already mentally preparing our next reply.
True understanding requires stillness — putting aside the urge to reply and instead focusing fully on the other person’s words, emotions, and perspective.
And sometimes, words aren’t the real message at all. Emotions speak louder than language. Tone, body language, pauses, even silence — all of these carry meaning. Someone might say “I’m fine,” but their voice or expression tells a different story. Listening beyond words is an essential part of truly understanding others.
In my experience, clarity and questions are bridges. Instead of assuming, accusing, or defending, asking better questions opens the door to mutual understanding. “Can you tell me more about what you meant?” or “How do you see this situation?” are simple but powerful phrases that change the entire tone of a conversation.
Imagine if we approached every conflict not with the question “Who is right?” but with “What are we misunderstanding?” Conflicts would feel less like battles and more like collaborations. Less about winning and more about understanding.
Most misunderstandings can be healed with patience, humility, and a willingness to listen — not just to words, but to hearts. In a world eager to speak, the rarest and most beautiful gift we can offer is the gift of truly listening.
In the end, maybe listening — truly listening — is the most powerful act of kindness we have left.
Arabela Navarro 