Friendship is one of the most enriching experiences in life. Over the years, I’ve come to understand that not all friendships are the same — some are fleeting, others are situational, and a rare few are deeply transformative. Reflecting on what friendship means to me, I couldn’t help but think of Aristotle’s timeless wisdom.
In his Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle describes three kinds of friendships: those of utility, those of pleasure, and those of the good. Friendships of utility are based on mutual benefit; two people come together because they find each other useful. Friendships of pleasure are built around shared activities and enjoyment — the friend you laugh with, celebrate with, and have fun with. But the highest form of friendship, according to Aristotle, is the friendship of the good — a bond formed between people who admire each other’s character, virtues, and goodness.
I first studied Aristotle and the Nicomachean Ethics during my first semester of the PhD. It was a time of intense learning and personal growth, and his reflections on friendship resonated deeply with me. These ideas have stayed with me ever since, quietly shaping the way I see and nurture the relationships in my life.
Looking back, I see friendships that fit each of these categories. Some thrived during a certain phase and faded naturally. Others brought joy and spontaneity but lacked a deeper foundation. And then, there are those rare friendships that feel like a quiet miracle: built on admiration, support, and a shared pursuit of a good life.
Friendship Across Life’s Chapters
Some of my most treasured friendships are with people I have known since I was a baby. These lifelong connections carry a special kind of depth and familiarity. We have witnessed each other’s growth, setbacks, and transformations, creating a bond that feels almost like family — woven through shared experiences and an enduring sense of trust.
Many of my friendships have also been formed through school, in each phase of my life, from early education all the way through my PhD journey. These friendships have been a constant source of encouragement and discovery, growing alongside me through the different seasons of life. One of the most meaningful friendships from this journey began during my master’s degree, when I met someone who would become one of my closest friends. What I enjoy most about our conversations is that they always revolve around ideas and our diverse interests. Every discussion feels like an exploration — of philosophy, art, travel, and dreams — and it constantly reminds me how enriching it is to have friends who inspire curiosity and growth.
Other friendships have emerged through work. Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of collaborating with people who later became mentors — and in some cases, close friends. These relationships grew from shared challenges and achievements, often grounded in mutual respect, trust, and a common vision. The support and wisdom of these friends have shaped not only my career but also my personal growth.
I also have a friend whom I only see once a year, yet our bond feels as strong as ever. Every time we meet, we go out for dinner at a nice restaurant and talk for hours. Our conversations are open and honest, and we share our dreams, our challenges, and the ups and downs of life — from health to relationships to work. That depth and sincerity create a kind of connection that feels timeless. This reminds me that frequency isn’t always what defines closeness — openness and vulnerability often matter more than how often we see each other.
Some of the most meaningful relationships in my life have come from unexpected places. I met some very close friends through our shared love for The Tim Ferriss Show podcast, a common interest that sparked deep, enriching conversations and a genuine connection. These friendships bring happiness, meaning, and psychological richness — perfectly embodying the three dimensions described by Shigehiro Oishi. They have expanded my horizons, supported my growth, and made life more vibrant and fulfilling.
What Deep Friendship Requires
In today’s fast-moving world, where conversations often skim the surface and interactions feel rushed, cultivating deep friendships takes time, patience, and intention. It requires listening not just to words but also to the silences in between. It asks for vulnerability, generosity, and a willingness to grow alongside someone.
Shigehiro Oishi, in his book Life in Three Dimensions, beautifully writes, “In sum, you can evaluate pretty much anything in terms of happiness, meaning, and psychological richness. Academic courses can be happy, meaningful, or psychologically rich courses. Some friends are fun to be with. Other friends are useful and helpful. Other friends help you expand your horizons.” This perspective complements Aristotle’s view: some friendships bring joy, others offer support, and a few challenge and expand who we are. Recognizing these different dimensions allows us to appreciate each friendship for what it brings to our lives.
True friendship, as Aristotle reminds us, is not transactional or shallow. It is a meeting of souls who wish good for one another, not for personal gain, but because they recognize goodness itself. It strengthens us, sharpens our virtues, and enriches our journey through life.
I’m grateful for the friends who have walked with me at different stages, and especially for those few who have become companions of the soul. In a world full of noise, they remind me that friendship remains one of the purest melodies we can share.
Arabela Navarro 